She Walks with my Heart
by Alice Inamorata
Summary: This was it, Rachel is finally going to tell Quinn how she feels - twenty years later. But it becomes much harder than what she originally anticipated. Faberry-love-ness!


**Authors Note: This story was created with the help of a fellow Faberry author named Sockville. Check out their work on livejournal. They're great. Also, I'd like to dedicate this to my girlfriend - no idea why, I just feel like it - without her, I wouldn't have been writing this. Without her, I'm nothing. I love you very much, darling.**

**Disclaimer: Do I have to keep saying it? I do not own Glee, Rachel Berry or Quinn Fabray...but I do have a calendar with them in it in my room ;)**

**

* * *

**

**She Walks with my Heart by Alice Inamorata**

She didn't know how she had ended up here. All she knew was that she had to set the record straight; Rachel Berry was on a very important mission to tell Quinn Fabray how she truly felt. After years of unhappiness and disarray, she truly felt that this was the time to tell Quinn - twenty years later - when they were in their thirties, grown up, and no longer the young women they were back in high school.

Rachel had married, of course, who wouldn't want to marry Rachel Berry? It was the boy that she married that shocked all: Finn Hudson. Rachel could have had her pick of many fabulous men - real estate agents, talent agents, millionaires, but she chose her High School Sweetheart who recently landed a spot on the Miami Dolphins. He was estatic, and showed Rachel to a fabulous dinner that night to announce the surpise. Rachel was happy that he had gotten onto a team for the fact that he'd be away from her.

Children? Rachel laughed. She had always wanted to be a mommy, but she found that her baby was her career. Finn pushed for children, hoping them to be like him and Rachel growing up. Rachel decided she wouldn't be able to deal with it, and buried herself in an immense amount of work - rehearsing lines like it was nobody's business.

Although she had settled down, grew a career for herself, established a name, and gotten married to Finn, there was always a specific place in her heart for a very special woman named Quinn Fabray. Quinn was the HBIC Cheerio of McKinley; she slushied her often, laughed in her face, and called her merciless names such as 'manhands,' 'dwarf' and 'treasure trail.' But when Quinn laughed, Rachel shuddered with anticipation. And when Quinn danced and sang in Glee, she noticed that she was happy. It was a dark time in Quinn's life when they met, and there were often times that they spent time together - Rachel comforting her. Rachel cherished those moments, hoping that Quinn would realize that she could make her happier than any man - make her dreams worthwhile - spoil her rotten. It was one night after graduation where Rachel's feelings came on too strong due to too many wine coolers.

They had sex, intercourse, Rachel liked to call it 'IT' like sex was an insane clown. They woke up next to one another one day, naked, covered in cold sweat. Quinn was so angry that Rachel had imagined steam coming out of her ears, but it hurt, because she knew that Quinn didn't want what she did - love.

The two hadn't spoken since, but Rachel thought of Quinn often. She thought of her every day for the past twenty years, and it took her up until now to finally muster up the courage to drive from New York City back to her hometown of Lima, Ohio.

How did Finn make her feel though? No lie, she loved Finn dearly; she would do anything for him, loved being around him and he made her laugh and smile like no one else did. Their sex live was great, and he always worried about her needs above his. But what was it about Quinn that attracted her to her so much?

It could have been the way her hips swayed from side to side in her uniform. How when she smiled, Rachel's heart jumped into her throat, causing her to choke. How Quinn's laughter caused goosebumps over her arms, and whenever they touched while singing songs, she felt an electrical pulse run through her veins. She begged to be close to the blonde; to run her fingers through her smooth tendrils that she worked on every morning, to touch her thigh gently, to press her supple lips against the blonde's neck to make her cry out in want. Rachel was desperate to make her scream, make her feel loved, to make love to her like she did the night they had one too many wine coolers. Deep down, she knew that it was highly unlikely that Quinn would reciprocate the feelings. Quinn was beautiful, and she had no doubt she would probably look even better with age, she probably had a husband and children that she loved dearly, and Rachel would be shoved to the side once more.

It was the highest possibility. Rachel knew she was going to have her heart broken, so that's why she brought an abundant amount of tissues and chocolate with her.

Rachel had tracked down Quinn with a lot of help from old friends (kudos to Facebook.) It was no surprise that she still lived in Lima; her parents probably kept her cooped up there after college. As for her address, she had to pull some special strings and pop, there she was. The drive was long and excruciating, and she had told Finn that she was going to see her fathers - which wasn't a lie since she was staying with them. She just prayed silently that Finn wouldn't find out about her love for Quinn.

Love? Yes, it was love. Rachel Berry only felt love one time in her life other than this, and it was for her mother, Shelby. She felt safe and secure, and it tore her heart out when Shelby had told her that she no longer could play a part in her life. But Rachel got her one last song, and it had made her happy. Rachel held onto the moments like that - when her mom had made her Lady Gaga dress for Bad Romance and when Shelby had made a face at Rachel's first attempt at a Gaga dress. The brunette smiled.

It was snowing in Ohio as she arrived in the wealthy side of Lima. She kept gazing at the houses, searching for 104 Cherryblossom Avenue. Then numbers steadily grew, and when she finally laid her eyes on the house, she gasped.

104 Cherryblossom Avenue looked like a life size gingerbread house, with bright lights placed perfectly around the edges of the house. Icicles hung down from the ceiling, and bright candles were lit up to perfection within the windows. Rachel was hesitant; she knew Quinn had a family, and what would she do if her husband opened the door?

"Hi, I'm Rachel Berry. I'm in love with your wife and would like to let her know."

Rachel was always one to plan, so it came as a surprise that she had no absolute idea what she was going to do. Well, she was always one to improvise, so she slammed the car door and walked up the long walkway surrounded by blue Christmas lights. The door was adorned with a beautiful wreath, and she inhaled its perfect scent as she knocked on the door.

A little girl answered, looking like a baby version of Quinn. She squealed in delight, jumping up and down and hugging Rachel tightly. "Daddy! Daddy! It's Rachel Berry! Remember! Mommy took us to see her on Broadway before she got sick!"

Sick..? Rachel thought, numerous thoughts running through her head. The worst thought was confirmed as Quinn's husband, Nicolas, sat her down at the table with a cup of coffee for him, and a cup of herbal tea for herself.

"Two years ago," Nicolas said, tracing the rim of the white china with his index finger. "She was diagnosed. They thought they had nipped it in the bud then, giving her a hysterectomy, which was difficult for her since Quinn had said from day one that she wanted a big family. Arianna and Peyton don't understand, but they think she's going to get better, when I'm not sure myself."

"Did it spread..?" Rachel asked, sipping her tea, attempting to be non-chalant about the whole thing. Inside, she felt as if her heart was being ripped from her chest, being cut out of her chest with a butterknife, being torn slowly. She had felt many times like she was going to cry, but Arianna was staring at her with star-studded eyes, and she knew she couldn't loseh er cool.

Nicolas nodded, "It got into her pancreas through the couple of months she was in remission. With pancratic cancer, they usually don't notice it until it's too late. Of course, the ovarian cancer spread to her vaginal opening as well. Needless to say, we're suing for malpractice."

"Good for you. Let me know if you need any help." Rachel said, fuming. "How could they not notice that..."

"Beats me. Some doctors should have never gotten their licence." Nicolas was attractive - Rachel wouldn't put it past him. He wasn't lanky or awkward, he had muscle and definition in all the right places and appeared a tad rugged with his stubble. She smiled.

"But...other than that, how is she?" Rachel questioned. Arianna was still looking at her, and the little girl casually slid her a notebook with a pen. The brunette smiled, signing her name with a special note to the little girl. She squealed with delight and bounced off to the other room screaming: "Peyton! Peyton! Look!"

Nicolas shook his head. "She adores you. She has posters of you in her room."

"Pretty mature for a six year old."

The male nodded, "But Quinn is keeping her head high though her days are numbered...she's so strong."

Rachel nodded, running her hand through her hair. "...May I go see her?"

She was referred to Lima's Cancer Society and Hospital, that was a couple minutes away. Rachel gave Quinn's family a hug, and Arianna a kiss, telling them to give her a call if they needed anything. The brunette could have sworn that she saw a single tear run down Nicolas' cheek as she left the household.

The hospital reminded Rachel of a scene in an old western movie - she thought that a tumbleweed was going to cross her path any moment. There were barely any nurses or doctors around tonight; it made Rachel feel slightly uncomfortable.

She heard the sound of music flodding down the hallway. The voice sounded like hers, so she quickened her pace. Rachel wasn't surprised to see Quinn lying in bed, her eyes shut, body frail and hair gone. Her heart broke, her bottom lip beginning to tremble. She whispered out to the blonde, wrapping her arms around her body, walking slowly. Tears began to fall, and although she tried to blink them away, more fell with no mercy. Quinn had opened her eyes when she sensed the precense of someone beside her, and she smiled when she saw Rachel.

"Hi manhands..."

She sounded so sick. The voice that had sung so beautifully, sometimes out of tune, but beautifully, was now a voice will ailement and pain. Rachel looked down at her arms and hands - they were just skin and bones. She could detect Quinn's cheekbones in her face, the knuckles in her hands, her joints. She wouldn't dare touch her because she was terrified that at one touch, Quinn Fabray, head Cheerio at McKinley, would shatter.

"Quinn..." Rachel whispered, letting her head fall, more tears dropping from her chin. "If I could stop this happening to you I would."

"I see you're still a drama Queen.." Quinn replied, running her soft fingers along Rachel's jawline. "It's okay. I'll be out of pain soon."

"No, it's not okay." Rachel replied, "Because you have a whole family that loves you, a beautiful daughter and son that are never going to know what it's like to have a mom growing up...Me, who will never know what it would be like to sleep with you for one more night."

"If that's your way of telling me you love me, then I love you too, Rachel."

Rachel's head shot up, her eyebrows cocked in surprise and confusion. Quinn laughed sweetly, and the goosebumps came back with a vengance. Even if she was sick and contemplating her death, Quinn Fabray made Rachel Berry feel like she was a teenager again. Rachel still felt powerless around her, like she could control her, and with a snap of her fingers, Rachel would do anything for her. Her eyes were still the ring of fire that Rachel remembered perfectly, her lips the most perfect pink in the world. The hair was gone and thinned, and her head was surrounded by a McKinley bandana that Rachel had zoned in on.

"Coach Sylvester brought it to me when she found out..." Quinn said, looking down. "She was sad."

"Didn't think she had any emotions." Rachel replied, earing yet another laugh.

"She always saw me as a younger her, that's why. But why are you here?" Quinn asked. "Not that I don't want you here...I listen to your voice when I fall asleep."

"I..."

Was it safe? Didn't Quinn just say she loved her? Rachel was still teetering on the end, and wasn't sure if she should sacrifice her soul if the woman she truly loved was going to be an angel in a mere few days. She began to play with her fingers and took a deep breath. What if she was rejected? Turned away? Rachel could handle it to a point, but the fact that Quinn had cancer just made all of this worse. She didn't expect it.

"I...came to tell you that I love you." Her brown doe-eyes looked at Quinn, and Quinn tilted her head to the side, as to beckon for more. "And I've loved you ever since high school. I know you may still be angry at that little one night escapade we had, but...I wanted to tell you that I'm madly in love with you, and I'm not happy in my relationship because I've always wanted you and no one else."

Quinn sat up slowly, making Rachel jump - standing up. Quinn was moving over on her matress; she patted the space beside her.

"...Didn't you say you wanted to sleep with me one more time?"

Rachel began to cry once more, kicking off her boots and climbing into the hospital bed beside Quinn. The two cuddled up to one another, holding one another tightly as they both cried.

Quinn cried for the loss of her life, for the loss of the woman she could have had if she snapped her fingers. She cried for the loss of the will to live, the loss of her cheerleading career and the loss of watching her children grow up. Quinn didn't dare tell Rachel that tonight was supposedly her last night. She didn't want to cause her more pain than what she was already administering.

Rachel was crying for the loss of HBIC Quinn Fabray, who she had fallen in love with over twenty years ago. She cried for the loss of her spirit, the loss of Quinn's former self who had been swallowed by cancer. She was happy she was finally next to Quinn, holding her and kissing her like she had always wanted to. Sure, there was no hair to run her fingers through, no eyelashes to look through as Quinn blinked, but she had the same fire in her eyes that was always there. She still had the same smile, the same laugh and the same soft skin that Rachel always begged to touch.

She was running her fingertips up and down Quinn's arms before Quinn spoke; she was falling asleep, "Can you sing for me..?"

"What would you like to hear, darling?" Rachel questioned, their fingers intertwining.

"The song you sang in the auditorium the day Glee was reunited for another year...do you remember it?"

Rachel knew the exact song that Quinn was talking about, and she sang it until she felt the steady breathing of Quinn's sleeping body beside her. She then felt that it was safe for her to sleep, and she slowly shut her eyes, holding Quinn's hand tightly in hers.

- 

"Miss Berry, Miss Berry please wake up."

"What's her pulse?"

"There isn't one. She has no vital signs."

"Could we try to revive her?"

"She's been gone too long...we have no chance."

"Miss Berry, do you know where you are?"

Rachel's eyes cracked open, a female doctor coming into view. Her face was stern, yet gentle, and it was then when she noticed that Quinn's body felt like ice. She turned to the side, sitting up and touching her cheeks - they were no longer rosey like what they were the previous night.

"Quinn..." Rachel whispered, her throat constricting, "Quinn, wake up."

"Honey, there's nothing we can do."

"What do you mean there's nothing you can do?" Rachel screamed, fighting back the doctor as she reached out her hand. She began to cry, screaming at the female with everything she had. "How could you take her away from me!"

"Miss Berry, please, this isn't our fault. She only had one day left."

Rachel looked at Quinn, her eyes shut and a gentle smile still etched on her frame. She noticed their fingers were still intertwined, and she swallowed back the tears that she knew she had to spill soon. "You spent your last day with me..."

She leant down, pressing her head into Quinn's mute heart, crying as loud as she possibly could. Her arms wrapped around Quinn's limp body, pulling her close to her warmth, silently hoping that her body will bring her back. The doctors had left, and they gave her a couple of more hours before Quinn's body was pulled from Rachel's love.

Rachel could barely drive. She couldn't think, she couldn't see properly. She felt like a part of her heart had been torn from her body without anesthetic, and it hurt. Her mind was silently reliving the events of the night, events of Glee that they had together, the fights and the way Quinn had smiled at her on occasion. When Rachel had apologized for telling Finn about Quinn's baby-daddy, when they sat quietly, distant, but it was the closest that Rachel felt to Quinn. She thought about the night they were drunk off of wine coolers, but admitted to herself that only one didn't make her drunk. She thought about the fact that she'd never be able to make love to Quinn again, she'd never be able to kiss her and hold her as she slept again - she'd never be able to sing to her again.

Quinn had listened to her voice as she slept.

Quinn had smiled every time she had thought about Rachel over the past twenty years.

Quinn had admitted that she had taken her son and daughter to see one of Rachel's plays just for her own benefit. She had wanted to see Rachel, and she had known that Rachel was always going to be a star.

And although she had never told Rachel Berry, Quinn Fabray always had a very special part of her heart, filled with the undying love that she had for her.


End file.
